Clients Ghosting: What It Means, How To Respond, And The Most Common Causes

John: 00:00:17

All right.

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Today I wanna talk about the topic

of clients ghosting and maybe

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even coaches ghosting as well.

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'cause it does happen.

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And you probably noticed by

the lack of introduction that

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Angie is not here with me today.

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She's taking care of some

family business right now.

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But she will be back to the show as

soon as possible, or they do stay tuned

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because we are gonna be taking a little

summer break from the coaching clinic.

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We may still pop up on YouTube for

some bits and pieces down again, but

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we will be taking a couple of months

off and we will not be ghosting

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it as is the theme of this show.

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We will be returning

probably in September.

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We haven't, it's fixed the date, either

gonna be late August or early September

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that we'll be returning with some

more coaching clinic episodes for you.

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So ghosting.

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This is, just a reality of working

in the coaching industry probably

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in many different industries.

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And if you've been coaching for a

while, you've probably already had the

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experience of clients ghosting you.

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And if you don't know what ghosting is,

this is really where clients or where

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anybody really stops responding to emails,

text messages, voice messages, or any kind

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of contact attempts, and you just get a

brick wall, they may even block you on

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certain channels to stop hearing from you.

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They do not want to communicate

with you any further.

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Most commonly in my experience, has

been where clients have maybe decided

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that they don't want to continue

with their coaching, but they don't

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want to speak to their coach and

say that they don't wanna continue.

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They feel awkward about it.

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Many people do not enjoy having

those awkward conversations where

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you're saying, ah, actually I'm.

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But really there could be

a lot of value in that.

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One is that many of us are afraid of

confrontational kind of situations,

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which is why we avoid this.

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But that is something that

will really help you to grow.

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Ultimately, it should not be a

confrontational conversation.

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It should be possible to be an

honest conversation, which can

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really just be along the lines

of, I do encourage honesty here.

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Either I'm not getting enough value

from the coaching, I'm struggling

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to fit it in with my time.

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I do not want to be spending the

money on coaching at the moment.

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I want to take a break and maybe

consider coming back in the future,

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whatever it is, but I would say I.

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Better to check in with the coach

rather than to ghost if you can,

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because this is part of your

growth and development as well.

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So if you ghosted a coach in the past,

then think about what the reason for

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that was, just know many of your clients

will have similar reasons for doing

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that with you as well, but it is a good

reason why we should make sure we get

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payment in advance wherever possible,

because chasing payment from clients

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after the fact is very challenging.

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I've even had a situation with a coaching

company where people weren't showing up,

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but the coaching company was continuing

to charge them on their accounts.

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And obviously I wasn't getting paid for

that because I wasn't coaching them.

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I got paid for the coaching that I did.

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But, if they weren't showing up for the

sessions, they were still being charged.

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And then you get a nasty

email, please stop charging me.

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They can be some very unpleasant

emails from time to time as well.

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And because some people tend to

assume that if they come in super

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aggressive, they fly in hot, that

you're gonna take action and you're

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gonna be scared into action right away.

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The reality in my experience is

that they get handled the same way.

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They'll get an email saying,

you know, when, when did you

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stop having your coaching?

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The company will check in with the

coach that they actually have stopped

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showing up for the coaching sessions,

and they will get a response that says,

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it is your responsibility to cancel

your coaching sessions before renewal.

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And usually we'll also

go along the lines of.

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In this case, we have decided to refund

your payments from the time that you

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stopped doing coaching, other than the

last month that you didn't complete

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perhaps, or something like that.

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You often will end up giving a refund

because generally it's not really

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worth the hassle and the bad mouthing

that people will end up doing.

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They, there are people who will, you know,

find you on Better Business Bureau or

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wherever else and give you a bad rating.

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Find your social media and slate you on

social media and other places as well.

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If they don't get what they want

outta the situation, even though.

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Even though they are actually responsible

for it, this does, it just happens.

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It just happens.

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And it's interesting that it happens

with coaching because I think, you know.

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It's not exactly the same.

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If you take out a membership in a club

or a gym or wherever and you've got

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like a six month contract, but you stop

showing up after the first month, as some

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people do, but you keep paying for it.

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If you then say, I want my money

back 'cause I wasn't coming and using

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this, they're just gonna laugh at

you and say, I'm sorry, but you had

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the availability to come and use it.

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You certainly could take that path.

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As a coach.

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I wouldn't personally encourage it.

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This is something you have

to decide for yourself.

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You're gonna stand your

ground and say, Nope.

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Your responsibility, if you're gonna

do that, frame it up with your clients.

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Before that, if you ever stop

showing up, if you ever stop missing

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sessions, it is up to you to cancel

any payments and to let me know.

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I always say as well, once coaching

has been paid for, unless there are

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circumstances where either you are

just not happy with the coaching,

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you're not happy with me for some

reason, and not satisfied with the

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coaching you've been receiving, those

are the only circumstances that I

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would be willing to consider a refund.

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If you've made the payment and some

big life event has happened and you

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desperately need the money and you can't

afford to make the payment anymore, look,

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these exceptional things do happen that

is not the same as being ghosted, but

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what will often happen is clients will

just disappear and no matter how much you

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email, message or try and get in touch

with them, they often won't respond to it.

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And it is that awkwardness that

starts to come up for people

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that they don't want to do that.

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Sometimes it is just that

they don't want to pay.

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So you can end up with situations

where they will be showing up to the

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last minute and then they just cancel.

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And you do have to keep a very

good account and track of your

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coaching and your clients, whether

you are working for a coaching

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company or working independently.

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It's essential that you be

responsible as the coach for

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keeping a good track, good record.

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Know when your client's

renewal dates are coming up.

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Schedule in those renewal conversations.

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If you have a three month or six month

or 12 month contract with a client,

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you should be checking in with them

at fairly regular intervals anyway.

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We have a whole episode about renewals and

renewal conversations, and it's episode

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29 if you want to go and check that out.

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Well worth taking a look at.

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But you should be preparing your clients

for the fact that renewal is coming up.

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It's not a secret.

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It should never be a case that

suddenly a renewal payment goes

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through and they're not ready for it

or unaware that that's coming through.

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They should have agreed to it.

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They know the payment's

coming through you.

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You have the right details.

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Everything is set up.

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We want things to go as smoothly as

possible because even something like

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a payment not going through can start

to create challenges if they are

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trying to booking coaching sessions.

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You haven't actually received the

payment in advance yet, and you

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do end up sometimes with these

situations where you're getting

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pressured to deliver a coaching

session that hasn't yet been paid for.

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I would say that is important to say,

Hey, we'll need to be a little patient

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here because the policy is to not deliver

any coaching that hasn't been paid for.

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This is just a, a little glitch.

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We will have to wait a little while

and I apologize for the inconvenience

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that this is causing, but we really do

have to stick by this policy because

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of problems it's caused in the past.

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If you've ever had a coach who has

ghosted on you and stopped being

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available or been unreliable, I've,

I've had them and I definitely think

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it's a good idea to call that out.

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Especially if they owe you coaching.

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Let them know and maybe even chase it up.

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One of the realities of being a

coach, especially if you're working

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with international clients, is

it may just be next to impossible

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or just not worth the hassle of

trying to chase up any outstanding

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payments that may be due to you.

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Some people will want to pay on monthly

or bimonthly or quarterly basis, and

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then the payment doesn't go through.

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They have a six month or 12

month contract and they've broken

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that down, this happens as well.

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And they're very likely to ghost

through in those kinds of situations

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as well, because it's awkward, it's,

and they feel embarrassed about it, and

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they actually just made the decision

that they're not gonna continue.

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And rather than let you know,

just decided to cancel the payment

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instead, or stop it going through.

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Not the, it's not the nicest way of

doing things, and I do think it's

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important to let those clients know in

those situations and hope that they will

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actually, even if they, they probably

won't respond to it, but let them know

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that if they do ever want to return

to coaching or program, whatever else

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you're doing, at some point, that they

will need to settle the balance first.

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That, if they do not pay whatever

is outstanding on this program,

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that which they would be welcome to

finish if it's still available, but

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they will not be welcome back into

any of your coaching or training or

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services until that balance is paid.

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And I don't think that's

unreasonable fact.

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It's a pretty nice way of doing it

because it would be very easy to just

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turn around and say, Hey, you need to pay.

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This is a six month contract, 12 contract.

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You agreed to that some people have paid

upfront for this, and some people won't.

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But there's honestly a limited

amount you can do unless you have the

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legal resources to go after and the

money is actually worth going after.

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So you have to make your

own decisions on this.

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But chasing payments that haven't

been made or just been canceled at

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the last minute is a really difficult

and time-wasting kind of thing to do.

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And nearly always, you're

better off not doing that.

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You are also better off if they're

not showing up just canceling their

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payments so they don't keep getting

charged and you don't end up having

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to deliver refunds potentially or any

unpleasant situations because believe

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me, they will send unpleasant emails.

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I've had that..

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Try and avoid that as much as possible.

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Don't, we don't need things

to get unpleasant, and it

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doesn't need to be awkward.

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I found myself at events and social

situations where clients who had ghosted

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me, or even clients who badmouthed me

online had been there and have had to

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have conversations with 'em or chosen

to have conversations with them.

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But I'm never unpleasant about it.

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I think it's important to be able to

rise above these things and show that

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there's no malice, take away any reason

that they might have to be scared of

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approaching you or talking to you,

and also pull the thread from whatever

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story that they have about you that they

might have been telling themselves and

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other people about you not being a good

coach or not being easy to work with,

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or not being easy to communicate with.

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What, whatever has maybe been going

on there that does sometimes happen.

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I think you showing up and

being impeccable with your word

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as the four agreements goes.

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Not taking it personally and not

making assumptions as to why this

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has happened, because we don't really

know what's gone on for people.

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And really just being the best you

that you can be in those situations,

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it's always gonna serve you better.

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Take the higher ground,

ultimately take the higher ground.

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I'm not suggesting we should take

financial hits for other people's

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mess ups, but there are times where

we do just have to accept, either

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we have to give a refund to somebody

or just sometimes it's just gonna be

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easier to give someone the refund.

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Sometimes it's just gonna be

easier to, to cut them loose

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and be o be okay with that.

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Even if it does end up leaving a bit

of a bad taste in your mouth, it's

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gonna be better for your reputation

than any kind of friction that people

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will sometimes take to social media or,

better Business Bureau or, uh, trust

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pilot or wherever else that you might

be listed and potentially damage or

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try and damage your reputation because

something hasn't gone the way they wanted.

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And believe me, those

people are out there.

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They do it, it does happen.

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It's not the worst thing in the world

if you have one or two, one or two

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bad reviews on any of these places, so

long as they're not your only reviews

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and so long as they're far outweighed

by people who are super happy with

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you and your services and products.

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But I think in, in life,

ghosting is unavoidable.

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I think we maybe have

all had that experience.

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If you haven't, you probably will of

clients who say they're gonna renew,

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but they're not actually going to,

and they potentially know that whilst

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they're talking to you, but they

feel embarrassed or awkward about

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letting you know that they're not

gonna renew and they just cancel.

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And rather than having the challenging

or uncomfortable for them conversation.

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They'd rather just ghost you

and, and block you and not

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not have to deal with it.

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And to some degree, it's understandable.

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It's human nature is such, such a

common part of life now that we do that.

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But I think having a good strategy

to deal with it and one that at

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least allows you to leave everything

in as good standing as you can,

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not to lose your temper about it

or get angry, but understand that

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sometimes people are gonna do shitty

things and it might even end up

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at your expense, unfortunately, I.

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But this is part of the price of

running business, especially the kind of

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business that we do where we really do

need to manage our reputations as well

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as we can and show up with integrity.

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But also, show up with integrity,

show up with compassion as well,

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because we never really know what

has been going on for the clients.

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And the fact that they've been coaching

at all says they do want to improve.

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They do wanna work on themselves.

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Maybe just not with you right now.

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I think that probably covers

everything I would want to say about

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this, but have you been ghosted?

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Have you had horrible

situations to deal with that?

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Have you been the person who's ghosted a

coach or a client, and what complications

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have come up for you around that?

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Or how did it feel?

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Is it something that you are okay with?

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Is it something that.

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Absolutely grinds your

gears and dries you nuts.

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We'd love to hear from

you, get in touch with us.

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Leave us a comment on YouTube.

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Why not?

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Or you can reach out to myself

and Angie, we'll give you the

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details for that in just a moment.

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But we'd love to hear from

you and hear your experiences.

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Are you just getting started with

this and it's got you worried

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about what clients might be like?

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Don't worry.

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The vast majority of

them are absolutely fine.

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So let me just be clear on that.

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The, the ghosting situation

is not super common.

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Most of your clients will actually be

lovely, wonderful, and probably want

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to work with you for a long time.

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That's it from me.

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We'll be back after the summer break with

some more coaching clinic, but we might

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pop up on YouTube from time to time.

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So if you wanna see any, maybe

any live bits or short clips

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on there that we might post.

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In the meantime, please make sure you

are subscribed to the YouTube channel.

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See you soon.