Am I a Bad Coach? Spotting the Signs & Fixing What’s Broken
Have you ever left a coaching session wondering, “Was that any good?” Or worse, have you had a coach who clearly wasn’t?
In this eye-opening episode of The Coaching Clinic, John Ball and Angela Besignano tackle one of the most uncomfortable but important questions in the coaching world: What makes someone a bad coach, and how do you know if that someone is you?
Whether you’re just getting started or you’ve been coaching for years, this conversation explores:
- The warning signs of ineffective coaching
- Scripted coaching vs. presence and real connection
- Why imposter syndrome never really disappears—and how to work with it
- The difference between growth and actual red flags
- How to develop your unique coaching style (without copying others)
- When passion for the craft trumps polished delivery
You’ll hear honest stories of coaching gone wrong, tough lessons learned, and why being committed to growth (not perfection) is what really matters.
If you're serious about being the best coach you can be—and staying human in the process—this episode is for you.
👉 Subscribe to the show and leave a review if it resonates.
🎥 Also now on YouTube! Search The Coaching Clinic to watch and comment on the episode.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction: Bad Coaching Experiences
00:27 Identifying Bad Coaching
01:00 Personal Coaching Stories
02:06 The Importance of Effective Coaching
02:22 Self-Evaluation as a Coach
02:04 Challenges and Growth in Coaching
05:28 Commitment to Improvement
06:21 The Value of Professionalism
13:09 The Coaching Industry Boom
16:02 Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
18:24 Conclusion and Call to Action
Want to contact the show? You can leave us a voicemail. It's free to do, and we might feature you on our next episode. All you need to do is go to https://speakpipe.com/thecoachingclinicpodcast and leave us a message. You can also find our clips and full episodes on the exclusive Coaching Clinic YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@coachingclinicpodcast
You can send us a video or voice message on LinkedIn:
John's LinkedIn Profile or go to PresentInfluence.com for coaching enquiries with John
Angie's LinkedIn Profile or visit AngieSpeaks.com
2023 Present Influence Productions Coaching Clinic: Grow Your Coaching Business & Master Coaching Skills 59
Transcript
John,
2
:John: Angie.
3
:Angie: Have you ever had
coaching That wasn't good.
4
:John: Yeah, more than once.
5
:Angie: So what did you do?
6
:John: I told the authorities that they
were harboring aliens from another planet
7
:and they were never heard from again.
8
:Angie: No.
9
:What did you really do?
10
:John: I sacked my coach
and I told them why I.
11
:Angie: So did that feel awkward?
12
:John: Oh yes.
13
:It would've been way better
if I'd spotted the issues
14
:beforehand and there were clues.
15
:Angie: So this should be fun.
16
:Let's open up the coaching clinic.
17
:John: now.
18
:I definitely had coaches.
19
:I've had to sack Angie, how about you?
20
:Have you ever had that experience
of just not getting great coaching?
21
:I.
22
:Angie: I have to say yes and yes.
23
:There was coaching that I had, that
I actually wasn't, I didn't pay for,
24
:it was provided to me by a company
and it was the worst, but I didn't
25
:necessarily know it was the worst.
26
:I just felt very frustrated by it.
27
:John: Mm.
28
:Angie: Yeah.
29
:John: I probably have said this at
some point on the show before, but
30
:of the worst coaching I ever had was
from people who are reading a script,
31
:taking you through just a process and
very, very rigidly sticking to that.
32
:And they're just waiting for you to shut
up so they can ask you the next part
33
:Angie: Oh my gosh.
34
:That's awful.
35
:Yeah.
36
:John: hate that.
37
:You know, when you can tell that
they're reading what they're saying
38
:to you as well, so it doesn't even
sound natural when they're doing it.
39
:that stuff is crazy.
40
:You know, I've had
41
:Angie: Do you feel like you're calling
a customer service one 800 number and
42
:they're like, yes ma'am, I understand.
43
:Please allow me to, you know, X, Y, Z.
44
:John: The tonality of these bots.
45
:Automatic callers.
46
:Yeah.
47
:Angie: Yeah.
48
:John: when you know it's not a real
person that you're speaking to,
49
:that's what it ended up sounded like.
50
:So yeah, that was horrible.
51
:Coaching where it's just been
ineffective and the coach has just.
52
:I dunno, don't feel like
coaches should be enablers.
53
:You know,
54
:Angie: Yeah.
55
:John: sometimes you need to
call stuff out with people.
56
:It really brought up this whole thing
for me when we were thinking about
57
:what we're gonna talk about today
58
:Angie: Yeah.
59
:John: I think we have, as coaches, we tend
to have those imposter syndrome moments,
60
:those insecurities of am I a good coach?
61
:Am I a bad coach?
62
:We don't always know, and we may feel
differently about it on different days.
63
:Well, maybe it's something
we could get into.
64
:How would you know, what would be
the clues that you are a bad coach?
65
:What do you think?
66
:Angie: Yeah, so first of all, let
me say this though, because I know
67
:that for everybody that listens, they
might feel a little bit differently
68
:than we do, but I don't think it's
always so obvious and I do think that
69
:some, what I think is a great coach is
probably gonna be very different than
70
:even what you think is a great coach.
71
:So it's, I think it's a very
individual thing for me.
72
:Kind of talking about what you
said earlier, I really feel
73
:the need to be challenged.
74
:if I'm like sitting here going, ask
me this while we're in a coachee
75
:session, then I know it's a bad session.
76
:Like if I know where you should
be going and I know that's
77
:because I have Coach Brain, right?
78
:I am a coach naturally.
79
:I think I wanted to talk about what you
said earlier because, I had worked, and
80
:I think you have worked, we've worked for
companies where there was a structure,
81
:a program of process to follow, and I
experienced coaches who were very script
82
:oriented and not great coaches, like
just going through the motions reading
83
:line by line, and not using the program
or the process as more of the guide.
84
:Rather than this is the session too rigid.
85
:And I think that is probably, unless you
are a cons, if you're a consultant, we've
86
:talked about this on our show, there
are some key differentiators between
87
:being a consultant and being a coach.
88
:And if I want a consultant,
that's who I'm going to hire.
89
:I'll hire a marketing consultant.
90
:I'll hire a, if I'm looking to be
coached, it means that I can't get
91
:out of my own way, and I need the
expertise of somebody that is going
92
:to help me get out of my own way.
93
:So yeah.
94
:John: yeah, I think this,
not necessarily complicated.
95
:I don't want it to be
something that's complicated.
96
:I think really my take on this is more.
97
:There may be things that we could
generate awareness of where we have
98
:room for improvement, things that
are fixable, but there probably are
99
:things that, for some people are
not going to be fixable and might
100
:Angie: Me
101
:John: coaching actually isn't the right.
102
:Place for you to be.
103
:Angie: Sure.
104
:John: I don't anticipate that our listener
is gonna be in the latter category.
105
:I think probably most of the stuff you'll
encounter that you may be judging yourself
106
:as a bad coach over is probably fixable.
107
:And especially if you are prepared
to put in the work and do it,
108
:and if you are committed to being
as good a coach as you can be.
109
:You know, we all know we're probably
all better coaches than we were
110
:last year or the year before.
111
:Depend on how long
you've been coaching, but
112
:Angie: Sure.
113
:John: certainly for most of us from
when we first started, you're a better
114
:coach now than you were then, and that
will be true in the future as well.
115
:But as much as I say I've had bad
coaching, I've had amazing coaches as well
116
:Angie: Yeah.
117
:John: blown me away and just think,
I wish I could coach more like them.
118
:Because I would love to be more,
119
:Angie: Yeah.
120
:John: like them.
121
:Then there's certainly things that
I've taken from those coaching
122
:experiences that I've brought into
my own coaching as best I could.
123
:'cause I can't be them.
124
:I don't want to be them.
125
:But, I would like to at least
work at getting to their level.
126
:And I don't know that I will,
but I'm gonna work on it.
127
:I'm gonna stay committed to that thing.
128
:So think.
129
:When I talk about, a bad coach,
really, it is more from the
130
:perspective of how we judge ourselves.
131
:Are you judging yourself as a bad coach?
132
:And if you are, should
133
:Angie: Hmm.
134
:No, and listen, I think that if
you are truly a committed coach.
135
:You're not somebody who's just
looking to create an assembly line
136
:of clients that you can just, take
money from and, oh, this is great.
137
:I have six clients now I'm
making this much a week.
138
:And like, if you are dedicated to
the craft, I think that we do have
139
:to give ourselves that grace that
we will grow and improve the things
140
:we would expect of our clients.
141
:Right.
142
:We, reason they're, they're
with us is to grow and escalate
143
:and, and all of those things.
144
:But I think we put a little bit of
an unrealistic pressure on ourselves
145
:that we have to be at some higher
level, all the time without the grace
146
:of, and we've talked about this, like
making mistakes and learning from them,
147
:self-evaluation, things like that.
148
:Yeah.
149
:I think, what does it even look like?
150
:I did have one coach who was,
he was fantastic with me.
151
:I don't know what he
did with everybody else.
152
:I just knew that he was great with me,
but it was because I needed the type
153
:of coaching that he provided because.
154
:I am super self-aware.
155
:I do get bored.
156
:I, be sitting there twirling my
hair going, is this other person
157
:gonna ask me the question or what?
158
:Whereas this other person,
his name was John by the way.
159
:John made me insanely uncomfortable
and although I have to be
160
:honest, resisted it initially.
161
:He also then had the awareness
of like, well, you lead this.
162
:This is why we're doing what we're doing.
163
:You realize that, right?
164
:And he changed everything.
165
:So again, but that's for me, not everybody
responds well to that type of coaching.
166
:So it really is kind of developing
your own, I don't know what
167
:the word is, your own way.
168
:Who are you, who's your
persona as a coach?
169
:John: That's really the danger of
judging ourselves against other,
170
:more experienced coaches that we
come with who we think are good.
171
:Even then, they're not gonna
be everybody's cup of tea.
172
:Nobody can be
173
:Angie: Yeah.
174
:Hmm.
175
:John: is going to love and value and think
they're amazing and that they're, see this
176
:in the personal development world as well.
177
:Like people, public figures
in personal development.
178
:There are some we love and
some we hate and we don't
179
:Angie: Yeah.
180
:John: On who those people are.
181
:Angie: Sure.
182
:John: fine.
183
:But when you're comparing yourself to
them, comparison being the thief of
184
:joy and all of that, and it really is.
185
:What you are also not considering is
that you might actually be the perfect
186
:coach for the clients that you're
working with, more than they might be.
187
:And so we
188
:Angie: Yeah.
189
:John: against saying, well,
I'm not as good as them.
190
:So I'm a, a bad coach?
191
:Ever gonna be that good?
192
:You are you, and you wanna be
the best you that you can be.
193
:And I think, would say this,
similarly to you, I knew a coach.
194
:I trained under him to some degree.
195
:He was a bit of a mentor figure for
me, was amazing at provocative therapy.
196
:had trained with Tad James on
timeline therapy and stuff like that.
197
:Was great at doing, there was
a stage hypnotist would teach,
198
:help teach me hypnosis and stage
techniques and things like that.
199
:A great person to learn from
completely unreliable with his clients
200
:Angie: Oh.
201
:John: and.
202
:And so when he showed up, he could be
an amazing coach, although, like you
203
:said, made people very uncomfortable.
204
:That's not for everybody.
205
:I responded to it so did lot.
206
:A lot of people who worked with him
and they loved him for that, but
207
:you didn't know for sure that he
was gonna show up for the sessions.
208
:Angie: Really listen and wait.
209
:It's so funny you brought that up because,
I, speaking, coaching, I had an event that
210
:I had to cancel last minute very recently,
and I'm still sick to my stomach over it.
211
:I mean, it was unavoidable.
212
:There was, we had a little
bit of an emergency, a medical
213
:emergency in the family.
214
:I didn't have a choice and it made me
sick to my stomach because I tell my
215
:clients before they start working with
me, if I ever no show I'm probably dead.
216
:I don't do it.
217
:I don't cancel, I don't, no show.
218
:And then I set a pretty
high standard for them.
219
:Like, don't not show, but for a coach
to set the standard and be the, I
220
:couldn't put up with that for three
seconds, like that bad coaching because,
221
:I've seen it, I've heard people say,
222
:there are people, we're all human first.
223
:Right?
224
:I always say that we are coaches, we
are, human life still happens to us.
225
:Although I think we try to put up,
that's why I'm still sick to my stomach.
226
:It's unrealistic.
227
:Idea that we are supposed to, to
some degree, set the standard.
228
:This is the way it is.
229
:You show up, but that in and of
itself could make you a bad coach.
230
:Like, I don't wanna deal with you.
231
:I don't wanna pay for you.
232
:You're unreliable.
233
:Therefore, it diminishes any.
234
:Professional, what's the
word I'm looking for here?
235
:I'm losing all my words.
236
:I'm not bad from vacation, everybody.
237
:I'm just saying anyhow.
238
:But it diminishes.
239
:Yes, thank you for all those
easy words, but it's the truth.
240
:Like, all of a sudden it's
like, you're really not you.
241
:You're not all that anymore.
242
:Just because of that, it's completely
disrespectful and all the things when
243
:that happens and, but at the same time,
right, life does happen too, but it can't
244
:be habitual that you're not showing up.
245
:John: Exactly.
246
:And I think if that's the
situation, I don't think it can
247
:always be that life's happening.
248
:It can't, that
249
:Angie: Sure.
250
:John: your ex your excuse for
being kind of flaky as a coach.
251
:You need, you need to
252
:Angie: Yeah.
253
:John: the work at least most of the time
254
:Angie: Yeah.
255
:John: need to be able to trust that
you actually care about them and
256
:you care about working with them
and helping them get the results.
257
:And if you are not
reliable to the most part.
258
:People will let you off once
or twice, but they won't keep
259
:Angie: Yeah.
260
:John: without, without a very good
Now if they need, some people have
261
:health conditions and stuff like
that, they end up having to take
262
:breaks from coaching all the time.
263
:Angie: Right.
264
:John: you're probably gonna let your
clients know something about that so
265
:that they know what to expect rather than
266
:Angie: Yes, correct.
267
:John: So, I think that
when, I'm a bad coach.
268
:I think if you don't really
care about your clients and
269
:Angie: Oh
270
:John: Their best interest at heart.
271
:I think that's probably what
would make you a bad coach.
272
:If you just
273
:Angie: yeah.
274
:John: don't, I don't
care about your results.
275
:I just want your money.
276
:would be in my books.
277
:Yeah.
278
:You're pretty much a bad coach.
279
:You're disrespecting your clients.
280
:You are, letting people
down and yourself as well.
281
:Even if you have all the best
coaching skills, that doesn't mean
282
:you're gonna be an amazing coach.
283
:Angie: So interesting because I
think that because our industry is
284
:growing and we've talked statistics.
285
:I think the last time I actually
looked, it's been so since.
286
:Two, 2019.
287
:The industry has grown by over 500% COVID.
288
:There are things that, made that happen.
289
:The industry was growing as it was,
but that just gave it a nice shove.
290
:And I have to say this, and if anybody out
there feels offended when I say it, maybe
291
:we're talking to that person to be honest.
292
:But, I think that a lot
of people diminish the.
293
:Relationship that we have sometimes
with people as coaches, meaning
294
:don't come in and just think
like, oh, I can just be a coach.
295
:Because I feel like that just diminishes
the art of the act, the people who
296
:are actually professional coaches, the
reason I'm saying this is I have heard
297
:people say that and it infuriates me.
298
:I'm like.
299
:What do you mean?
300
:Just be a coach?
301
:I mean, certainly we've
made the joke, right?
302
:We're not rocket scientists.
303
:Maybe some people are, I don't know.
304
:But generally we're not, and intensive
brain surgery that we do, but we're
305
:affecting people's lives and it is
such a, an important job to have.
306
:And when I hear people diminish that,
307
:or minimize it.
308
:It really makes me look at them
and think, you are not a coach.
309
:You're just here for the money grab.
310
:You're here because some, to, some people
charge hundreds if not thousands of
311
:dollars per session and want the money
grab because it's air quotes, easy to do.
312
:That is a really bad coach, that doesn't
really take consideration to the craft.
313
:I.
314
:John: there is a sort of opposite
of that, which isn't, I wouldn't say
315
:it's something that makes someone a
bad coach, but it does make somebody
316
:less than they can be as a coach,
which is undervaluing themselves
317
:Angie: mm.
318
:John: not, not getting themselves out
there enough to get the kind of client
319
:work that they, they want and that they
320
:Angie: Sure.
321
:John: If you don't yourself out there,
it's not, it's not gonna magically.
322
:Come to you like you have
to build the business.
323
:So there are, I think
there are people who don't.
324
:Really enjoy the business
work of coaching.
325
:Angie: Yeah.
326
:John: a bad coach, but it does make you
a, an ineffective coach if you don't
327
:actually have the clients or if you're
328
:Angie: Yeah,
329
:John: free stuff, or if you're still
charging, 75 bucks an hour for,
330
:for coaching clients and you've
been doing it for 10 years, it is
331
:Angie: sure.
332
:John: not, something's not right there.
333
:Angie: Yeah.
334
:John: change it.
335
:This is the what I mean about
the stuff that's fixable.
336
:This is the stuff that's fixable,
337
:Angie: Yeah.
338
:John: the decision that you
want to fix it and that you
339
:want to be better because of it.
340
:And it's better for you.
341
:It's better for clients.
342
:It's better for your future clients
who will get results from working with
343
:Angie: Right.
344
:John: You will feel amazing about it,
and it's okay to have the imposter
345
:syndrome stuff and question yourself.
346
:That's still gonna come up, but.
347
:You'll ride it out because your
clients will help you to do that.
348
:Your work will help you to do that.
349
:Angie: Well, I think you
have to just pay attention.
350
:We talk about this so much.
351
:I notice it's coming up
a lot, just naturally and
352
:organically in our talks here.
353
:It's interesting that I.
354
:We really do have to give ourselves
that grace to grow, right?
355
:That imposter syndrome can pop up at
any time during the duration of your
356
:career, because if you're growing,
you're going to feel uncomfortable.
357
:You know, if you need to grow,
you're in the next stage,
358
:whatever you wanna call it.
359
:I think that that's what happens.
360
:I think that sometimes
we go, oh, wait a minute.
361
:We did something.
362
:We did it well.
363
:We learned it well.
364
:And now it's uncomfortable to go and
be better and do better and do more.
365
:So I think imposter syndrome
can pop up pretty often.
366
:It's not a one and done,
you know what I mean?
367
:I think a lot of people feel like, if I
can just get past this, I'll feel better.
368
:And then, you know, three years
into their career, they're kind
369
:of feeling like, I don't know, am
I really doing the right thing?
370
:Because there's more to
jail and they know that.
371
:John: Yeah, there, also a weird
idea about, and a lot of us carry
372
:with it, I've dealt with it as well.
373
:Maybe it's come up for you
about this thing of feeling like
374
:whether we deserve things or not.
375
:That question that comes up of, I
deserve this or I don't deserve this.
376
:That comes up
377
:Angie: Yeah.
378
:John: And in all honesty.
379
:None of us deserve anything.
380
:It's not about,
381
:Angie: Yeah.
382
:John: or not deserves.
383
:We might make judgments of,
well, they're a bad person.
384
:They don't deserve good things,
or they're a good person.
385
:They don't deserve bad things.
386
:But that's not how life
and the world works.
387
:It's
388
:Angie: Yeah.
389
:John: deserving.
390
:Those are judgments we make on ourselves.
391
:And sometimes it's a judgment, and with
judgment we make on others as well.
392
:But sometimes it's a
judgment that stop sales.
393
:Moving forward as well and
creates those imposter syndrome
394
:Angie: Yeah.
395
:John: of, I'm not good enough.
396
:I don't deserve
397
:Angie: Sharon,
398
:John: plus a month, whatever.
399
:That's,
400
:Angie: who am I?
401
:John: people are.
402
:Yeah.
403
:A li it is definitely a
limiting belief that needs
404
:Angie: Very limiting.
405
:John: fixable.
406
:It is fixable.
407
:That's the good news.
408
:All of it is fixable, but it
requires doing some work maybe with
409
:Angie: Mm-hmm.
410
:John: to help bust through those 'cause
that ultimately is what this is all about.
411
:Reframe them,
412
:Angie: Yeah.
413
:John: and work with the
coach who work for you.
414
:Angie: Absolutely.
415
:Well, I think we touched on some things
and we always find new things to talk
416
:about for sure, but we would love to
hear your input and hear what you know.
417
:For the newer coaches or maybe coaches
that have been around for a while, like.
418
:What are your biggest
challenges right now as a coach?
419
:Is it the business?
420
:Is it the coaching?
421
:Is it your style?
422
:Is it a combination?
423
:We'd love to hear that.
424
:John: Let us know certainly come and
check out our new YouTube channel as well.
425
:Just look up the coaching
clinic on YouTube.
426
:You'll find us
427
:Woo.
428
:You can check out our videos,
our podcast episodes there.
429
:We'll put clips up there as well
and come and share and comment
430
:and connect with us there.
431
:We'd love to see you.