Energy in Coaching: Balancing Empathy and Professionalism

Angie: 00:00:00

John,

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John: Angie.

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Angie: Hello my friend.

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So I had this thought.

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I was really thinking about like how I,

I'm so, you know, energetic and sometimes

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in the morning I'm too energetic.

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I, I I, it kind of led me to

thinking about how do we show

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up as coaches with our energy?

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Are we consistent?

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Are we affected by the weather?

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How is that?

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How do we create consistency

within our sessions?

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John: Yeah, gosh.

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do we show up as the same

person with every client?

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it's a, it's a thing I often thought about

with, when you see more people who are

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on the platform as coaches and speakers,

like, are they the same person off the

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stage as they are there, or are they

bringing the same energy to every event?

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I think we all have to ask ourselves

these questions, and, this is, this

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is a great topic to have because

who hasn't been in that situation

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where you look at your calendar and

you've got a call with that client.

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Welcome to the Coaching

Clinic with John and Angie,

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Angie: the show for professional

coaches who wanna develop their

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skills and grow their business.

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John: Follow the show on

your favorite podcast app

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Angie: and join us every

Wednesday for new episodes.

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I am interested.

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I'd like to hear more about that.

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John: Yeah, I, I think that's probably

one of those situ, one of those situations

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for maybe where we don't have full control

over our client list, but it can, it

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can happen even when you do, there are

people who are gonna slip through the net

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who perhaps aren't the people you would.

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Most love working with or difficulty start

to arise a bit later on the relationship

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that just end up with you not looking

forward to the next call with them.

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That doesn't mean you won't

still do a great job, but

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you won't want to coach them.

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But could you honestly, truly say that you

would bring the same energy to that kind

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of call as you would to a client who you

absolutely look forward to working with?

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Angie: You know what's so funny?

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It's like you're, you're

saying that, and I'm going.

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I'm looking at, we, we talked, we've

talked about like rosters, and I

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think when you have like one or two

clients, it might appear like, oh,

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well, that's just more manageable.

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And maybe to some degree for us

as coaches, energetically, if

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you have two calls a week instead

of like 30 calls a week, right?

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There's a, there's some, there's

definitely a, ways to prepare differently.

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You have to structure things differently

and you do have to be cognizant.

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Am I giving this, this is

something I've always said.

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Am I giving the same energy to like,

let's say client number five in the

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day as I did to client number one.

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So that's like one

vertical of this for me.

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But you said something

and I was like, oh my God.

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Do we ever even talk

about that as coaches?

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Like.

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That client, and I don't know, I think

everybody understands what that means.

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I don't, if you don't give us a call,

we can explain it better, but just the,

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you know, like what makes us, when we

look at it, we go, yay, yay, yay, uhoh.

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Right?

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As we're looking at the roster for

the day, even if again, one or two, it

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doesn't matter how many, as much as it's.

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Why is there, why do we have that reaction

when we're supposed to be objective?

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Are you able to even bring the

same energy to somebody that I

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don't even know, like for you, I,

I, I, I'm just so curious, right?

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Because I think coach work

in general, right, by default

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inherently is challenging.

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So.

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When you said that client, like

what kind of came to mind for you?

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Because I'm not saying.

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John: Sure, sure.

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Look, it, it could be, it could

be a few different things, really.

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but really, you, you, you know, the

session isn't gonna go maybe as smoothly

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as you hope it would, or that the

client sometimes has perhaps disrupted

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a session or has brought in some

energy or may, like we were talking

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recently about people who overtalk.

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Maybe it's that client that you

don't look forward to now you

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having to try and rein them in.

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Or the client who asks can just ask

questions all the time and maybe

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too many questions and, and it stops

you from just getting on with stuff.

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Or the client who is very fickle

about how they like things to be done,

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or they show up with low energy or

they show up with too much energy.

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I mean, it could be any number of

things, but it's just things that.

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Have the potential to make the session

not as good as it potentially could be.

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And and that's really what

I mean by that client.

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That client who, you know, you have

your clients who are easy to work with,

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you have your clients who are fun to

work with, and then there's usually.

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There's usually at least one

somewhere along the way who

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isn't so much fun to work with.

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Who?

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Mm-hmm.

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The rapport with the rapport just isn't

as strong with, but you can still work

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with them, you can still get results

with them, but you know that you look

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forward to the calls with those easy

clients who you have that more natural

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rapport and connection with way more.

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Angie: So wait, and

here's the thing, right?

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I agree.

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I agree with everything

you're saying, right?

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There are just people that we feel

more naturally, connected to, and

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we do as coaches, we do connect

with our clients, we build rapport.

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But here's the thing, I

think this is what it.

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All of that has translated back into, it's

kind of regurgitated a little bit because

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is it really though the client that you,

I, whomever, as the coach, you feel more

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challenged in those sessions, right?

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In the navigation, right.

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It anybody can show up as anything.

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I think it becomes, you

know, that feeling of.

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Oh, that client, and, you know,

whomever that may be, because we

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as coaches feel that challenge.

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Like, how do I, how this is, this

is deeper work, tougher navigation.

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energetically doom and gloom.

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It's our issue.

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It's not their issue, it's our issue.

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It's our challenge.

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And saying like, well, how

do I, now, how can I elevate,

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like, or navigate this better?

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So that.

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I don't feel that feeling of

like that client, I mean, I feel

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like I'm gonna get a T-shirt.

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Are you that client?

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John: That client?

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Yeah.

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Angie: Yeah.

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Do you know what I mean?

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Like it's really about us and less

about them because they're paying us

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to, maybe that's part of their issue.

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Maybe.

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Who knows, right?

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Whatever their challenges may be, but.

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You know, are we restrictive mentally

and emotionally because we have a

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harder time just navigating that

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John: here.

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Here's, a few important takes on this.

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I think just from years of

coaching experience, I guess, but.

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I don't even know if we should turn

up the same on every single session.

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I, I think we still want to turn

up with the intention to deliver

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our best, but some, some sessions

require a slightly different energy.

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Some clients require us to adapt a little

in how we show up, so I don't think we

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should always necessarily show up with

exactly the same energy on the calls.

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We need to be somewhat adaptive

to the people that we're

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talking to, but only to a point.

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But the, the thing is, the thing becomes,

well, where, at what point does it

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potentially start to affect your delivery

or the work that you do together?

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And that point, that point to me, I

think, is when you can no longer see the

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greatest potential in that client because

you view is getting clouded or crowded

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by other elements of how they're showing

up that are perhaps making you not even.

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Like them all that much or, or,

or really wanna see the best for

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them because they're pushing your

buttons or, or triggering you.

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And so if you, I think if you can't

step, if you can't step out of that

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and have the best positive intention

and vision for your clients, that is

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a time to question yourself as to you

maybe shouldn't be working with them.

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Angie: I do think that we've talked

about this a little bit in the past,

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and we should probably get deeper into

it because, you know, there's been a

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many clients that I've wanted to fire

and we, we, you know, that I think is a

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separate call, but you, to your point, I,

I wanna backtrack like five steps, right?

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Maybe we shouldn't show up,

you know, exactly the same.

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I think I initially show up to a call.

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Every single time just saying,

good morning, good afternoon.

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You know, my initial energy.

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But here's the thing, I think a

lot of people go, oh, I really

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love that you met me where I was.

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Yes, initially, I have

to get on that call.

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Be who I am, and then gauge you, right?

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Are you still being difficult?

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Are you being difficult?

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And that's not the norm for you.

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Whatever that is.

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I don't think it's meeting

people where they are.

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I think it's understanding where people

are and then you as the coach have

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to transition back into, you've heard

me use this phrase, the PACE card.

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You are still in charge, the authority,

if you will, the leader, of the session.

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You have to still be that.

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So I think there's two

different, you know, a couple of

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different things going on there.

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Right.

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You're right.

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The, the sessions can't be the

same, but I don't know if I firmly

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believe in absolutely meeting people

where they are and staying there.

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I still think we have to transition

and that's the hard part sometimes,

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like, have you ever had a client.

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And I don't mean challenge you, like

they couldn't find the answer and you

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had to keep digging in, in curiosity.

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I mean, have you ever had a client

challenge you, like, as like all of

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a sudden they wanted to show up as

the like authority in the session, or

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they're, you know, they know better

than you and they're challenging

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you in a disruptive kind of a way?

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Not with curiosity, you know,

have you had that happen?

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John: Yes.

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Oh, undoubtedly.

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And that's usually been in earlier

stages of the coaching relationship.

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It's not something, not something I

could say I've encountered deeper into

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a coaching relationship with somebody.

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Yeah.

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but that's, that tends to be

more of a power play issue.

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I, I always step back a little in those

situations 'cause I want to see how,

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how it plays out and not be too attached

to it, going one way or the other.

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I like to let go of my attachment to being

right in this and just saying, what's

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really, what's really going on here?

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Yes.

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What's happening in this situation?

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And when, when I do that, I do tend

to find I'm not, when I'm a little bit

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detached from that and, and watching it

more as, and there is an observer, right?

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And as a partic and as a participant.

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So I'm wearing both hats

pretty much at the same time.

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But that actually puts me in a

power situation on those calls.

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And that does gimme the opportunity

then say, all right, well, you know,

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I'm not sure if any of this is meant

to attack me personally or not.

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And I might even say that

on a call is like, sure.

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What is in, in the guise of, alright,

what's the, what's the intention here?

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Like what are you trying to establish

or how do you, how do you want

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this coaching relationship to?

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Sure.

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Because that's what we, that's what

we really need to get to, and in

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earlier stages we, we need to make

sure we can actually work together.

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Angie: Yeah.

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I think though too, your point is

like sometimes we have to, you know,

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in meeting in the idea or in the

vein of meeting people where they

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are or understanding where they are.

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Somebody might like, just

say, for example, maybe they

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had a death in the family.

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Right?

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And that's affecting their energy.

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And we don't know, maybe they haven't

disclosed that something happened.

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They're just trying to show

up as their best selves.

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They wanna still do a session

and it's not working right.

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I think as coaches, we need to be

able to identify there's something

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re there's something going on,

and I think the pause, right?

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And you just hit on it right?

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Simply just slowing it

down and saying, Hey, Chan.

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What's going on today?

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Any, you know, what do you need most

from me today or from this session?

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I'm detecting, and this is an observation,

not a judgment X, Y, and Z, because

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again, I think it takes them out of

like whatever space they're in and

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refocused them to, or pivots them to

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progress.

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Not progress in terms of, I'm

using the wrong word, I think, but.

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Looking forward, not focusing on

wherever they're sitting, transitioning

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them a little bit out of wherever

they are, so that they do want to

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maybe share it or give you some

inclination as to what's going on.

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But I think that's our power in that

moment is you wanna meet somebody where

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they are, ask them what's going on.

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Right.

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John: Hundred percent.

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But I, I can also say I've had

sessions where there clearly is

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something going on, and this may be

a, a more particularly British thing

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with clients, although I've had it

with British and Australian clients.

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So, but they, they just will not.

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They just will not go there.

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And, and you'll have to go through

the whole session like that.

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Not that.

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And there's nothing you can do,

just get to the end of the session.

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Some sessions are gonna go like that.

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Angie: Yeah.

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John: Not every session, not every

session you ever do with a client is gonna

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be a rip roaring success, I'm afraid.

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And, and sometimes that's, sometimes

it's on you, but sometimes it's not.

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but it is, it, it isn't just

a one-way street coaching.

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But, but I do think a big part of our role

there is to hold up a mirror to people.

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And, sorry, what's going, what's,

what's going on in your life?

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And, and I, I love the sort of tactical

empathy stuff that you get from people

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like Chris Fo teaches it and never split

the difference, but I've seen it come up

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in other places with other names as well.

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But this is like labeling the emotions.

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Like it, it seems like you are,

you're feeling like this today,

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so you're not accusing them.

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It's like,

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Angie: right,

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John: this is how, this is how

you're coming across to me.

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Angie: Mm-hmm.

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John: Is, is there something going on?

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Or can, can you tell me

a bit more about that?

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Or what's your, what's

your intention here?

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What is going on for you emotionally?

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It shows you're already playing

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Angie: attention, John,

wait a second though.

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If they say, you know what, I

don't really wanna go there.

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What do you do in that moment?

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If they say, yep, you're, you're

picking up on something for

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sure, but I don't wanna go there.

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What do you do in that moment as a coach?

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John: my temptation would be

to say, well, we can either

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end the session here or we can.

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Move forward in some way.

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How do we move forward?

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Like I generally would say, look, if this

isn't somewhere you want to go today,

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I hope we can go there in another time.

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If it's something that's bothering

you, what then is gonna be

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valuable to focus on instead?

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Like, what should we Absolutely.

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What should we move on to?

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Angie: Yeah.

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John: Because I want 'em to still get

value from the session, but I'm not

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gonna force them into revealing something

that they're not ready to share yet.

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Angie: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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No, and that's the point.

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The point is that's where you,

then you ask and verify, you

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know, something's going on.

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Yeah.

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So, you know, do we need

to bring this in today?

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No, I don't want to.

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Okay.

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And I, and again, I love your pivot.

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It's like, okay, so then, and we could

probably all ask the question, you

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know, 10 different ways or more, so then

what is most valuable then for today?

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Or what do you need?

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I think in that case, I'd then say, what

do you need most then in this session?

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There are times where somebody,

you know, did like have a death or

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something and they're crying, you

know, on and off, and I'm saying,

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this is not a productive session.

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If they wanna talk about that, we can,

but if we're gonna try and pretend

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it's not bothering them and move on

to business as usual, but they're

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not emotionally able to, then I, as

a coach, I think have to take that

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: 00:15:53

moment and say, you know what John?

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: 00:15:54

I think we should just call this today.

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I, I wanna give you, I wanna honor

you and as a human, give you time

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: 00:16:01

to process or whatever it is.

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: 00:16:02

Lose a job.

316

: 00:16:03

I think things that are external,

and give them that grace.

317

: 00:16:07

I mean, not 45 minutes into a 60 minute

session, but if you really can't navigate

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: 00:16:12

it and straighten that cart a little bit.

319

: 00:16:15

10 minutes in, sometimes you do have

to just take that license and say, I

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: 00:16:20

think we'd be better served to wait

and honor you, give you more time to

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: 00:16:25

process or whatever that is, you know,

feel better or whatever's going on.

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: 00:16:30

John: And, and I have done that before.

323

: 00:16:32

I said, look, I don't think is gonna be

valuable for us to have a call today,

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: 00:16:36

but I don't want you to miss out.

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: 00:16:37

So I would prefer to reschedule this.

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: 00:16:40

Angie: Yeah.

327

: 00:16:41

John: They can disagree, but then if

they disagree, they have to, they have

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: 00:16:45

to make, a move on their side if they

want to have the session regardless.

329

: 00:16:51

It, you, then you then have put

them in a situation where, okay,

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: 00:16:54

well if you want to have the session

regardless, here's where we need to go.

331

: 00:17:00

Now we can either deal with that.

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: 00:17:01

We, yeah.

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: 00:17:02

Either we deal with that and as say,

get to work or we reschedule it.

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: 00:17:06

What would you like to do?

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: 00:17:06

Yeah.

336

: 00:17:07

Yeah.

337

: 00:17:07

So there's the ball's in their court the

whole time, but I'm not gonna force them.

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: 00:17:11

That's, that's not what

we, not what we're there.

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: 00:17:15

Angie: Well, that is very

push off the cliff to me.

340

: 00:17:18

You know, like I love poking and

prodding and pulling and everything,

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: 00:17:22

and maybe the occasional nudge, but

I think sometimes if we overstep and

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: 00:17:27

we don't really honor them, I mean,

I think there's healthy times too.

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: 00:17:30

There are times where.

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: 00:17:32

You kind of have to, I don't know,

I'm referencing Top Gun, the original,

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: 00:17:36

you know, like you crash, you burn.

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: 00:17:37

There was a really bad outcome.

347

: 00:17:39

It's something you have to get

back up into the plane, right?

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: 00:17:41

You have to get up and, and start and you

know, live another day, fight another day.

349

: 00:17:46

Yes.

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: 00:17:46

And as a coach sometimes we have to

be able to understand so that we know

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: 00:17:52

when it's time to nudge them forward.

352

: 00:17:55

But yeah, that feeling of pushing,

being pushed over the cliff

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: 00:17:58

does not feel good to anybody.

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: 00:18:00

So you have to be careful of that.

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: 00:18:03

John: You don't wanna

lose that loving feeling.

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: 00:18:05

yeah, that was, that was

my top gun reference.

357

: 00:18:08

Uhhuh, I think we talk about this and

yet this is, these situations stand out.

358

: 00:18:14

But they are few and far between.

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: 00:18:16

Sure.

360

: 00:18:17

In your general coaching work?

361

: 00:18:18

In my, in my experience,

probably yours as well.

362

: 00:18:21

I, I, they, they do stand out though,

but that's one of the reasons why they

363

: 00:18:24

stand out is like they, you know, there's

very sticking out like a sore thumb.

364

: 00:18:28

It's like these stick

out, like sore thumbs.

365

: 00:18:30

Mm-hmm.

366

: 00:18:30

Amongst all the other coaching sessions

that you do, because there's soreness

367

: 00:18:33

there because there is, friction

challenge there that you don't have

368

: 00:18:37

in your, in your other sessions.

369

: 00:18:39

One of, one of the hardest

challenges I think in coaching.

370

: 00:18:43

People who come into coaching

tend to be very empathetic.

371

: 00:18:47

Mm-hmm.

372

: 00:18:47

They tend to be very tuned into

people on emotional levels.

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: 00:18:53

And I know we've mentioned this

in episodes before, but you

374

: 00:18:55

know, there is that thing of

we happen to learn in coaching.

375

: 00:18:59

How to not take on the emotions

of the clients who you work with.

376

: 00:19:04

Angie: Oh,

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: 00:19:04

John: yeah.

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: 00:19:04

Without being, without shutting down

your own emotional state, like, you still

379

: 00:19:08

need to have access to your emotions.

380

: 00:19:11

But if you know that thing of, like, you

know, the thing of like when somebody

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: 00:19:15

starts crying, if you're very, if

you're very, if you're very empathic,

382

: 00:19:19

you probably want to start crying.

383

: 00:19:20

If they're getting emotional,

it'll, it'll trigger you off.

384

: 00:19:23

But we're not recording.

385

: 00:19:26

You are not recording.

386

: 00:19:28

When did we stop?

387

: 00:19:29

When did that stop?

388

: 00:19:31

Now you're recording.

389

: 00:19:33

Angie: Yeah.

390

: 00:19:35

Alright.

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: 00:19:35

John: Did you see where that result?

392

: 00:19:36

Angie: I just like right before I said

it, I was like, wait, what just happened?

393

: 00:19:40

So it was right when you were saying

what you were saying, so go back.

394

: 00:19:46

John: So there's, there's this, that thing

with coaches of being highly empathetic.

395

: 00:19:50

Mm-hmm.

396

: 00:19:51

But knowing really, to be able to

keep access to your own emotions, but

397

: 00:19:55

having enough distance that you're

not being pulled into the emotions of

398

: 00:19:58

the client who you are working with.

399

: 00:20:00

So that thing of, you know, when somebody

starts crying and you want to cry?

400

: 00:20:04

'cause if you're, if you're empathic,

it'll probably make you sad as well.

401

: 00:20:07

And you might want to cry

and it might even happen.

402

: 00:20:10

But you, you can't let yourself

go down the hole with the client.

403

: 00:20:14

But you what you.

404

: 00:20:16

But what, but what you need to learn to

do is hold the space for them if they need

405

: 00:20:21

to emotionally process that on the call.

406

: 00:20:23

Let them know it's okay.

407

: 00:20:25

They can let this out.

408

: 00:20:26

This is a safe space.

409

: 00:20:27

Go ahead.

410

: 00:20:28

but, but not to allow yourself

to be pulled into that.

411

: 00:20:31

Have empathy for them.

412

: 00:20:33

Angie: Absolutely.

413

: 00:20:33

But

414

: 00:20:34

John: Don.

415

: 00:20:35

But don't empathize so much

that you are feeling the emotion

416

: 00:20:38

with them at the same time.

417

: 00:20:40

Angie: Well then you're no longer

empathizing, you're sympathizing.

418

: 00:20:43

It changes.

419

: 00:20:44

Right, right.

420

: 00:20:44

And, and there.

421

: 00:20:45

John: Exactly.

422

: 00:20:45

Angie: And I'm not gonna

say that I have it.

423

: 00:20:47

I had a client, a long-term client

that referenced his mom for years.

424

: 00:20:53

Years.

425

: 00:20:53

And he's still a client actually.

426

: 00:20:55

And, and she passed and it was

like, I almost felt like I knew her.

427

: 00:21:01

Of course I didn't.

428

: 00:21:02

Right.

429

: 00:21:02

But I felt like I knew her because he

talked about her and relationships.

430

: 00:21:06

It was part of the coaching

and then she was gone.

431

: 00:21:09

And it was a, somehow, I, I have to

say, I, I, I'm admitting there was

432

: 00:21:15

a moment of feeling that feeling.

433

: 00:21:19

It wasn't empathy.

434

: 00:21:21

And I did, I had to check myself and,

'cause I got a little, like choked up.

435

: 00:21:25

Of course.

436

: 00:21:26

Quick, quick, right?

437

: 00:21:27

You have to, you know, you're still

human first, but then you have to quickly

438

: 00:21:31

adjust and realign yourself to be like,

you know, maybe it is slowing down the

439

: 00:21:36

rate of speech, speaking a little more

softly, which we all know is not my forte.

440

: 00:21:41

but, but really being able, poking

fun at myself, but you know, really

441

: 00:21:45

then just genuinely being able to.

442

: 00:21:49

Give them like, you know, like you're

saying, John, like hold the space.

443

: 00:21:53

Don't rush them out of it.

444

: 00:21:54

Like, well, okay, well how do

we make you feel better today,

445

: 00:21:56

now that your mom passed away?

446

: 00:21:57

That's not going to happen.

447

: 00:21:59

John: yeah,

448

: 00:22:00

Angie: so I do, I think it's

important to be able to manage

449

: 00:22:03

and navigate that expertly.

450

: 00:22:08

That'll work.

451

: 00:22:09

John: Yeah.

452

: 00:22:10

and, and this is, this is where I think

as coaches, we end up having to rely

453

: 00:22:16

on, on what we've been trained in.

454

: 00:22:19

Angie: Mm-hmm.

455

: 00:22:20

And

456

: 00:22:20

John: you, you'll, you'll fall back

to what you've been trained with,

457

: 00:22:22

but that's what you want to go, to.

458

: 00:22:24

Go to what you've been trained with.

459

: 00:22:25

Allow yourself to take that

step back and be there.

460

: 00:22:29

Be an emotional support and rock for them,

but don't be in the emotion with them.

461

: 00:22:34

That's much more powerful for them and

it gives them, it gives them something to

462

: 00:22:38

hold onto with you as well, that if you're

holding this, if you are holding the space

463

: 00:22:43

for them too, they know that they can go

wherever they need to emotionally, even if

464

: 00:22:47

that is being incredibly vulnerable and,

and emotional on, on the call with you.

465

: 00:22:53

And that's actually a healthy

thing with your clients.

466

: 00:22:56

And it's not gonna happen all the time,

but it is gonna deepen the coaching, it's

467

: 00:23:00

gonna deepen the coaching relationship.

468

: 00:23:03

From, from doing that, I think, I

think it's valuable, but you know,

469

: 00:23:06

in, in terms of the, the energy that,

that we show up within the calls.

470

: 00:23:11

I, I do think, you

know, I, I aim for what?

471

: 00:23:13

Similar thing I aim for on stage.

472

: 00:23:15

I aim for showing up with

warmth and competence.

473

: 00:23:17

Those are two of the main things that I

want to have come across to people that

474

: 00:23:21

I'm gonna be warm, I care about you,

or I want you, I want the best for you,

475

: 00:23:25

but I'm also competent in what I do.

476

: 00:23:27

And, and I'm gonna keep

things moving along.

477

: 00:23:29

And, yeah, and we're gonna get to, we're

gonna get done what we need to get done

478

: 00:23:33

in the session, but there are other

elements that I want to make sure that

479

: 00:23:38

I bring into those sessions as well.

480

: 00:23:40

And I very much want clients to feel.

481

: 00:23:42

The space is being held for them.

482

: 00:23:44

This is, this is their special time.

483

: 00:23:46

They can be heard, they

can say what they want.

484

: 00:23:48

It's, not, nothing's gonna get, leaked

outta that conversation unless they

485

: 00:23:53

want to share it with someone else.

486

: 00:23:55

I think these, these are important aspects

of it, but how we then show up in that?

487

: 00:23:59

What other elements go with that?

488

: 00:24:01

That's gonna be what you adapt with

or how you adapt to the clients

489

: 00:24:04

you work with in each session.

490

: 00:24:07

Angie: Yeah.

491

: 00:24:07

I think keeping, maintaining the, the

composure, maintaining the space of how

492

: 00:24:13

can I be of support, how can, like, how

can I give them, right, or lead them

493

: 00:24:19

to how can I, even if they are in a

tough moment, or even if it's not like,

494

: 00:24:24

you know, a sad thing, if it's just.

495

: 00:24:26

Energetically, right?

496

: 00:24:28

Just they're, they're, maybe they're

just having a bad day, an off day.

497

: 00:24:30

And I think, you know, for me,

it has been asking, how can I

498

: 00:24:34

be of support for you today?

499

: 00:24:36

What do you need most

from, from this session?

500

: 00:24:40

And I, per, I push that personalization

away a little bit because it's

501

: 00:24:44

not, what do you need from me?

502

: 00:24:46

It's how can I, how, you

know, how can I be of support?

503

: 00:24:50

And then kind of detailing that to.

504

: 00:24:56

Movement forward, I guess you could say.

505

: 00:24:58

so I think meeting them and navigating,

and we really have to, you said

506

: 00:25:02

something earlier and I, it really, it,

it resonated because it is a skillset.

507

: 00:25:08

Being able to navigate people's

emotions around the challenge, I

508

: 00:25:13

think is, is one of the hardest

things that we do as coaches, right?

509

: 00:25:18

We can be curious and

ask the right questions.

510

: 00:25:21

Navigating each person as an

individual and understanding their

511

: 00:25:26

needs and their, their blind spots

and whatever that is navigating,

512

: 00:25:32

that can be very challenging for us.

513

: 00:25:34

John: Yeah.

514

: 00:25:35

In, in my earlier days in coaching, I

definitely used to feel I took on a lot

515

: 00:25:38

from the client's emo emotional Yeah.

516

: 00:25:41

Situations on the course and ended up

doing a sort of, what call it emotional

517

: 00:25:47

clearing ritual between each session.

518

: 00:25:49

Angie: I do, I do.

519

: 00:25:50

John: Just, just so I

could shake stuff off.

520

: 00:25:52

I don't worry so much about that

now because it, it, it seems to just

521

: 00:25:55

happen more naturally and, and I.

522

: 00:25:58

I don't have to mentally process it.

523

: 00:26:00

It just happens now.

524

: 00:26:02

Angie: Yeah.

525

: 00:26:02

John: But that, again, that's the

stock that you trade in and you may

526

: 00:26:04

find that you need to do that, or you

need to give yourself a little bit of

527

: 00:26:08

emotional defense in your, that has

you put up that shield for yourself.

528

: 00:26:13

Just to give yourself the ability to

take a step back sometimes and be the

529

: 00:26:18

observing participant rather than the

involved participant, because that

530

: 00:26:24

is, you do need to have that level of

detachment to be effective as a coach.

531

: 00:26:28

But, but the, the empathy

thing is very, very powerful.

532

: 00:26:32

So long as it doesn't.

533

: 00:26:34

Pull you into it too much.

534

: 00:26:37

It, it makes you a very powerful

coach, very effective coach.

535

: 00:26:40

Yeah.

536

: 00:26:41

Some coaches lean in,

lean on process more.

537

: 00:26:43

Some coaches lean on

advocacy and intuition more.

538

: 00:26:45

Angie: Yeah.

539

: 00:26:46

John: but both are important.

540

: 00:26:48

We, and we need both aspects.

541

: 00:26:49

So if we're weaker in one than the

other, we should work on the other.

542

: 00:26:52

but we need, we need both.

543

: 00:26:54

We need the process as well.

544

: 00:26:56

We need to make sure that the

client gets what they need to.

545

: 00:26:59

Angie: Yeah.

546

: 00:27:00

' John: cause that's what we're

there for at the end of the day.

547

: 00:27:02

Angie: Agreed.

548

: 00:27:03

I'm with you.

549

: 00:27:04

I agree.

550

: 00:27:06

Great session.

551

: 00:27:06

John: Cool.

552

: 00:27:07

I hope it's been, yeah, I

hope it's been valuable.

553

: 00:27:09

For our listeners, we'd love to know

your thoughts, so you know, we'll

554

: 00:27:11

share, we, we'll tell you in just a

moment how you can share your thoughts

555

: 00:27:14

and ideas with 'em, or if there's a

topic that you'd like us to discuss

556

: 00:27:17

on the show, how you can get in touch,

557

: 00:27:21

Angie: love that.

558

: 00:27:21

Do you have a question

for the coaching clinic?

559

: 00:27:23

John: Reach out on LinkedIn to

connect with Angie and John.

560

: 00:27:26

Angie: Leave us a voicemail

or video message and we will

561

: 00:27:28

feature you on the show.

562

: 00:27:30

John: You can also leave up

to 92nd voicemail for free

563

: 00:27:33

on www.speakpipe.com/the

564

: 00:27:36

Coaching Clinic podcast.

565

: 00:27:38

Angie: We'd love to hear from you.

566

: 00:27:40

John: See you next time.

567

: 00:27:40

Angie: Bye for now.